The #1 Reason Why We Want More And More (And More) — Not being grateful

March 26, 2020

by Seph Fontane Pennock 

The #1 thing that holds people back from having a smooth-as-honey lifestyle, where you can just get up, feel great, and connect with other people in meaningful ways, is…

(Drum roll)

Not being grateful.

You can have all the money and achievements in the world. But, if you are grateful for nothing, it’s like no matter what you make or do, life simply will not get any better. It’s like everything falls into the black hole of things we take for granted.

This is one of the reasons why we end up striving for more in our lives. More friends, more money, more status. Because how can you ever have enough if you don’t appreciate what you have?

And you know what?

I think that’s a deep shame. Especially because most of us (in the Western world) should be grateful for our lives in a way that’s almost apologetic.

And yes, we get used to things so easily. We take our luxuries for granted. We take the streets we walk on for granted. And at times, we even take our spouse’s love for granted.

Psychologists call this concept ‘hedonic adaptation’ and it’s a bitch if ever there was one.

And you know what’s the saddest part? (and after this I’ll stop preaching)

In getting used to the wonderful things in our lives, we are falsely assuming they will last.

Newsflash: they won’t.

Nothing will.

So Seph, what’s the solution?

I’m glad you asked.

The most powerful way I’ve found to overcome the danger of getting used to things is to be actively grateful for them.

So I hereby invite you to lift the veil that is clouding the wonders life has in store for you, every day again, by expressing your gratitude.

By saying to someone: “Thank you so much for doing [x], it means the world to me”.

By jotting down 3-5 things you’re grateful for before you go to sleep.

By looking your kids deeply into their eyes and knowing that the moment will not last forever and letting that knowledge transform into a mindfulness that allows you to be fully present with them.

Because so many of us positive psychology practitioners KNOW how powerful meditation, gratitude and self-compassion are, but so few of us are actually practicing as we preach.

So let’s change that.

Right here.

Right now.

If you are with me, simply write down 3 things you are grateful for today.

[…take a minute…]

Done?

Great.

“When you appreciate the good, the good appreciates.”

The article is published in Positive Psychology.